Fact Sheets:
Helping Children After a Disaster
A catastrophe such as an earthquake, hurricane, tornado, fire, flood,
or violent act is frightening to children and adults alike. It is
important to acknowledge the frightening parts of the disaster when
talking with a child about it. Falsely minimizing the danger will not
end a child's concerns.
The way children see and understand their parents' response is very
important. Children are aware of their parents' worries most of the
time, but they are particularly sensitive during a crisis. Parents
should admit their concerns to their children, and also stress their
abilities to cope with the situation.
Parents should be alert to these changes in a child's behavior:
- Refusal to return to school and "clinging" behavior, including
shadowing the mother or father around the house.
- Persistent fears related to the catastrophe (such as fears about
being permanently separated from parents).
- Sleep disturbances such as nightmares, screaming during sleep and
bedwetting, persisting more than several days after the event.
- Loss of concentration and irritability.
- Startled easily, jumpy.
- Behavior problems - for example, misbehaving in school or at home
in ways that are not typical for the child.
- Physical complaints (stomach aches, headaches, dizziness) for which
a physical cause cannot be found.
- Withdrawal from family and friends, sadness, listlessness,
decreased activity, and preoccupation with the events of the
disaster.
As you struggle to handle your own feelings about this unthinkable
tragedy, consider these tips for talking with your children:
Turn off the TV.
Don't let your own desire to keep up with the news get in the way of
your children's well-being.
Try to control your response.
It matters more than anything. If fear and sadness overcome you, your
kids, even if they're very young, will pick up on that. It will make
them feel even more scared.
Reassure, reassure, reassure.
If you're faced with a question you just can't answer, remember the most
important thing you can do for your children is reassure them that
you'll do everything you can to keep them and the rest of your family
safe.
Be available; let your children ask questions.
It may be tempting to say, "Everything is fine. We're far away from
the explosions and nothing will happen to us." But that can sound
dismissive to your child if you aren't also addressing his or her
specific concerns.
Get back to your family routine as soon as possible.
Children of all ages thrive on routine. It doesn't make sense to
pretend that life is normal if your family has been deeply affected
by large events, but the groove of their daily lives - dinner, bath,
reading time - can be tremendously reassuring to children. If your
children are home from school for one or more days, try to keep them
on a weekend schedule of meals, playtime, etc.
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